Such as it is…
I thought I was basically finished with this today but I’ll probably work on it a few hours tomorrow. And I shouldn’t. It is what it is and it’s time to move on! I still have a nagging belief that there is is a way to improve this piece or make it work better -so I’m sure I”ll tinker with it tomorrow. I think I need to focus on big block areas and the overall composition rather than develop detail. Enough of that already, I know, but I’m not convinced yet that it is “all the way there”.
The truth is that painting is consuming - decisions piled on decisions, second guessing, squinting and reassessing. And balance is an overrated word but it truly feels like there is a tight rope to be walked. I push a dark until it is too dark or develop a contrast until it is garish so then must pull it back only to discover that it is wimpy. I want a painting to look confident. I don’t care if anybody likes it but I do want it to appear to have reached it’s destination. When it has said all it can and holds together well — then I can leave it. Whether it is a “good or bad” painting doesn’t matter to me as much as knowing it has done all it can do.
And oddly, by the time I’ve finished I have forgotten that I dreamed up the idea, drew it, and should take total responsibility for it existing in the first place. It’s a little like dreaming up a problem so we have something to worry about. All that matters now is that it DOES exist and deserves to be as strong as it can be. We all deserve that.
