Are we there yet?
“I’m not an artist. I paint.” I said that for over ten years while I painted every day, dragged paintings to art shows, and spent evenings studying or shuffling paperwork. I didn’t know when I would get there — to that place where I had earned the right to be called an artist — but I was sure I wasn’t there yet.
I knew that getting an art degree wouldn’t make me an artist. It’s definitely more complicated than that. I knew the title wasn’t based on commercial success — people buy stuff in buckets that isn’t art — I definitely couldn’t trust that! And I was pretty sure the title didn’t depend on my skill level. Developing skill is a plus but it seems superficial — art comes from a deeper place.
I continued like this for years, basically without an identity. I spent every waking hour thinking about art and making art but I wouldn’t identify myself as an artist. It was tricky and I was vague a lot of the time. Actually, I was confused a lot of the time.
I finally found my answer — not the answer for everyone but the answer for me. It gently settled over me with time and that’s why I trust it. No bolt of lightening, no drama, I simply started writing “artist” on the line that asked for my occupation :)
Being an artist is about my commitment. It is what I do without fail every day. It is the only path that feels right and I haven’t questioned it in years. I can’t measure my ability or effectiveness but I can measure my commitment in hours, days, and years.
And basically I’m not doing something else, I’m doing this. Making art. So there.
